I wish the Thug Life chose me

If it were me, you'd see a small mass fall to the bottom; that would be the crap that fell out of my pants on the way down.

It's 3:03 AM. I just showered...Was thinking about maybe going to bed in the next half an hour. I no longer think I will be able to sleep with the images this girl has imprinted in my head.

Maria Hose Cristerna, a mum of four from Mexico, showed off her unusual looks at a tattoo exhibition in Monterrey in California recently.

She had her body transformed as a reaction to enduring years of abuse at home.

The striking look is completed by specially shaped vampire 'fang' teeth, fake eye colours and massive earrings – but she's not finished yet! The 35-year-old claims that she wants even more horns implanted.

'Tattoos were a form of liberation for me – my way of being immortal - and the horns I have are a symbol of strength and were implanted without anaesthetic,' she told The Sun.

'I had the fangs done because I loved vampires as a little girl and I changed the colour of my eyes so they were how I really wanted them to be.'

I think if I saw this lady in real life, I'd shat my pants. It must suck going through metal detectors for her, and is titanium magnetic? I wonder what would happen if someone placed one of those huge magnets they use in the junk yards on top of her...Would her horns rip out of her skin?!
 

Something something crazy. Something something Indians.

Bonus Wilhem scream at 4:18.

NSFW language.

I love watching Nic Cage go ape shit though I really wish they didn't use Lux Aeterna/Requiem For a Dream for the background music.

She picks up a call like 1/5 into the video, and all I have to say is...

"COO COO...COO COO...COO COO"

I think I'll tag this...humor..