He's downing that thing like a paper shredder!

That is exactly what you think it is...a heart shaped cucumber! Who else would think of such a thing other than the Japanese!? You would think it's some crazy process, but it's pretty easy. All you have to do is grab a sleeve that is shaped like a heart, place a baby cucumber in there (while it's still growing) and the heart shaped sleeve will force it's shape as it's growing. Read more about the process here!